Things I Hate: Followers

Song of the Day: Mac Mac - The Bloody Beetroots

Welcome to the first of a number of hate-filled, grumpy, grouchy, angry, and generally unpleasant rants I have titled "Things I Hate." Today's topic: followers.

Now, to some degree, everyone's a follower. That's cool. Hell, I'm a follower in many aspects. The problem is though, when you start following for the sake of your outward appearances to others, as opposed to for your own personal grins and giggles.

AH HA, YOU THOUGHT THERE WOULD BE AN IMAGE HERE DEPICTING GRINS AND GIGGLES, BUT THERE WASN'T. SO MUCH FOR PREDICTABILITY SUCKERS~

Moving on...

There's a lot of examples of this in college; hell, I think some of them are pretty cool myself. Thing is though, cool as I might think they are, they're NOT FOR ME. That concept of something not being "for you," so to speak, is pretty foreign to a lot of college kids these days. Because I'm a bit lazy tonight, have finals to study for, and have to get back to the 92507 from home ASAP, here's a short list of things that run-of-the-mill followers embrace that may not necessarily be "for them," and why they MIGHT NOT BE FOR YOU:

-Fixed Gear Bikes: Are you a bike messenger? No? Does your institution of learning have lots and lots of hills? Yes? Do you really need to drop over $500 on your goddamn bicycle? No? Fixed gear bikes MIGHT NOT BE FOR YOU.

-Nut Hugging Jeans: Do you have a penis? Yes? Nut huggers MIGHT NOT BE FOR YOU.

-Unnecessarily Long Hair: Are you a man? Yes? Do you want to get a job that pays above the poverty line? Yes? Is this the 1960's/70's? No? Disgusting hippie hair/scenester hair MIGHT NOT BE FOR YOU.

-Graffiti/Tagging in General: Did you grow up in an inner city neighborhood? No? Are you a member of a legitimate street gang from such a neighborhood? No? Are you an art major? No? Were you raised in suburbia? Yes? Tagging MIGHT NOT BE FOR YOU.

-Acoustic Guitars: Are you a musician by trade? No? Did you do this just to get girls? Yes? Did you do this to fit in with your ugly hipster friends? Yes? Were you inspired by any of the thousands of half-assed acts on YouTube? Yes? Acoustic guitars MIGHT NOT BE FOR YOU.

-Ugly Neon Sunglasses/Shutter Shades: Do you have self respect? Yes? Do you value people taking you seriously? Yes? Stupid sunglasses MIGHT NOT BE FOR YOU.

-Mirror pics: Are you an obnoxious self-absorbed immature puerile douchebag? Yes? Congrats, mirror pics ARE FOR YOU!

-Being European: Are you European? No? Being European SURE AS HELL ISN'T FOR YOU, YOU PRICK. GET OVER YOURSELF.

-Smoking (cigs, weed, hookah, whatever): Do you value your lungs? Yes? Smoking MIGHT NOT BE FOR YOU.

-Dressing like a member of NWA: Are you from a gang-ridden neighborhood? No? Dressing like a thug MIGHT NOT BE FOR YOU.

Whew, okay that's about it, sorry about the short post length/lack of pics everyone. I'll try to put up pics later (no promises), so enjoy my miserly ranting folks, and have a happy holiday season!

Best,
E.Y.H.