Omegle Trolling

In lieu of a real post filled with thought provoking banter, I'll take this break from midterms to show you some of my recent Omegle trolling. In case you didn't know, Omegle is an anonymous chat service with strangers, which allows for quite a lot of anonymous trolling in the interests of grins and giggles.

Grins and giggles.

Without further ado, I present to you my latest Omegle trolls (warning: not even slightly politically correct):

TROLL ATTEMPT #1:

Connecting to server...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: hello there!

Stranger: Hello.

You: hows life?

Stranger: Grand. And yours?

You: awesome

You: probably grander than yours.

You: but i'm not entirely sure.

Stranger: I wouldn't bet on it.

You: why's that?

You: i put a kitten in a box today, and threw it in a river.

You: the box was plastic

You: and had no air holes.

You: that's pretty grand, i think.

Stranger: More nifty than grand.

You: so what qualifies as grand?

You: would it need to be a full-grown cat next time?

Stranger: I'm not entirely sure. I make it up as I go. No, that's in the 'splendid' area.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Commentary: I really don't know what to make of this dude's last response. At least he knows that cat murder is indeed splendid.

Troll Attempt #2:

Stranger: 15 female aus

You: You must help me.

You: Good.

Stranger: why whats wrong

You: You are from Australia.

You: I am from New Caledonia.

You: Have you a plane?

You: The soldiers are coming.

Stranger: Yes i have my own jet plane, im famous in australia, why?

You: And we must flee.

You: We must flee now.

You: There is no time.

You: You must call my number immediately.

You: 09-8209-0342

You: It will connect you to the village phone.

You: Let it ring twice, then please call it again.

You: On the second try a man will pick up.

Stranger: it wont connect

You: His name is Jacques.

You: You must try harder.

Stranger: i dont know the numbers for americas code

You: If you do not my village will perish.

You: I am not from America.

You: I am from New Caledonia.

Stranger: well wherever you live

You: We are an island.

You: I do not know so much English.

You: Only what the priest has taught me.

You: You must hurry.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Commentary: Didn't go as I planned, but that's ok.

Troll Attempt #3:

You: Hello I am Zhong He.

You: Are you man or woman?

Stranger: hi

Stranger: man

You: I am man as well.

You: It is good.

Stranger: cool

You: There are many woman on this site.

You: They all do not talk to Zhong He.

Stranger: im not sure

You: I am from China.

You: Where are you from.

Stranger: thats cool

Stranger: the usa

You: Do the women talk to you.

Stranger: no not really

You: I do not think they like China people.

You: It is a problem.

You: I share your pain.

Stranger: yea well thanks

You: I wish you well friend.

You: This is last talk for me.

Stranger: you too

You: Before police come.

Stranger: alright

Stranger: oh boy well

Stranger: have fun in prison

You: For accessing internet site that government does not allow

You: I have been told I will go to jail.

You: But I have locked my door.

Stranger: well good

You: They are hitting it right now.

You: Do you think I will live.

Stranger: ill talk you throught this

Stranger: yes

Stranger: you will live

You: In China sometimes you do not live when the goverment hits you door.

You: Sometimes you will never see family again.

Stranger: wow im sorry man

You: They have entered.

Stranger: say goodbye quick

You have disconnected.

Commentary: Somewhere, someone believes he has just heard the last words of a political dissident in China.

Troll Attempt #4:

You: 21/m/alabama

Stranger: i cannot believe my eyes, how worlds filled with filth and lies, and its plain to see, evil inside of me, is on the riseeeee

You: how bout yall.

You: ah.

You: yall one of them deviant faggots aint you.

Stranger: a deviant

Stranger: big word from a hick from the south

You: yall think we marry our cousins or something?

Stranger: got the grammar just right too

Stranger: u definitely talk like a dumbass

Stranger: impressive

Stranger: ur meeting every strereotype so far

You: I would appreciate it, sir, if you did not look down upon the stereotypes attributed to the common working classes.

You: The work of the proletariat holds that which you hold dear

You: upright.

Stranger: common working classes eh?

You: We, the working man, maintain the standards of life that your bourgeoise selves hold to be a God-given right.

Stranger: dem sounds like commie words to me

Stranger: u aint a red is ya?

You: Sir, I would appreciate it if you did not confuse the words of a socialist with those of a communist.

Stranger: haha hot damn, a socialist in the south, now ive heard everything

You: We hold short shrift with the cruel and inhumane tactics that the Communists find acceptable.

You: Perhaps you do not travel enough sir.

You: One's geographical location need not determine his ideals.

You: Have you considered, kind sir, that it is perhaps YOU that are the bigot?

Stranger: quite happily

You: Looking down upon those from disadvantaged areas from your ivory throne?

Stranger: more or less

Stranger: view gets kinda bad from the top

You: Sir I bid you adieu, your very presence upon the network of information that is the internet offends me to no end.

You have disconnected.

Commentary: He probably didn't see that shift in linguistic ability coming, nor did he see the shift in ideological perspective. Entertaining, that.

Okay with that, I really should get back to studying. Go do some trolling of your own, folks; I bid you all good night!

Best,
E.Y.H.