Song of the Day: We Gonna Rock It (S.U.N.) feat. Zeebra and NOB - DJ Benkei
So again, a picture-less blog post, facilitated by my lazy nature, and a lack of desire to hunt things down.
Anyway, been a while folks. I went on an update-less streak there for a while, and now I'm back. Make of that what you will.
Today is list time. I'm just going to make a list of things that irritate me strongly ranked in terms of how pissed off they make me (top to bottom), make of them what you will.
Behold, my irrational rage:
1. People that smack their lips while they chew.
2. Arrogance, ESPECIALLY liberal arrogance.
3. Hipsters.
4. Cars parked over the damn parking lines (I take special pains to swing my driver's side door ESPECIALLY hard into these assholes).
5. Twilight.
6. Jerking.
7. Bandwagoners.
8. Honda Civics. The bad FAR outnumber the good.
9. Souljah Boy. Yes, he gets a special, SPECIFIC mention.
10. Overly skinny jeans (does this tie in to number 6?).
11. The iPhone.
12. Anyone that wears a beret in America, unless they're military.
13. Sagging jeans.
14. Ripped jeans.
15. Overpriced jeans.
16. People that aren't in the military wearing dogtags.
17. Natty Ice.
18. Guidos.
19. Religious nutjobs.
20. Extreme immaturity (a little bit is encouraged; an excess is stupid).
21. Parents that overly spoil their children.
22. Skunks.
23. Hardboiled eggs.
24. Mercedes Benz build quality.
25. MSNBC.
That's it for today all; I promise I'll try to update more often!
Best,
E.Y.H.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Car Talk: 2009 Nissan GT-R
Today dear readers, I'd like to take a quick break from my usual shenanigans and describe to you my car experience last night. There will be no pictures, because no amount of silly pictures can convey the moment to you properly. Well, here goes the earthshaking moment:
I had a ride-along in the Nissan GT-R.
No, I didn't get any time behind the wheel at all. No, it didn't go all out for top speed. Yes, it was weighed down by three passengers in addition to the driver. By God though, it was fast.
I'm not talking car-fast. I'm not even talking bullet-train fast. This was holy-shitballs-no-words-can-describe-this fast. 0-60, so far as I can figure it with four people in the car, was gone in four seconds or less. The brakes went from 60-0 in an equally amazing time; forgive me for not timing it, my head was busy trying to figure out how NOT to go through the front window. It was pulling 0.5 g's (according to the handy g-meter in the dash display) through a few twisties, and I didn't feel a thing. Pull 0.5 in my S14, and you're kicking the tail out already; the GT-R felt 100% planted and secure.
Upon leaving the car, myself and my fellow passengers had quite literally run out of words. We only agreed upon stepping out that our own personal cars would never be quite as satisfying again. There aren't words to describe the speed, the finesse, the engineering put into this car. It's simply one of those things you must experience yourself to understand; I can't describe it to you properly.
After all this praise then, you'd figure I'd go out and give it ten stars out of five, right? Wrong.
On one hand, yes, it's staggeringly fast. On the other though, I have to be honest, it's tied for the most sheer balls-to-the-wall entertainment I've had in a car with...
... a MR2 Spyder.
Oh, you laugh now. A few hundred horsepower gap, nearly $80,000 worth of price difference, these two cars aren't even in the same LEAGUE. Hell, the GT-R's even more practical (if you can call a supercar practical) in many ways; the owner informed me he'd carried a small Christmas tree about in the trunk a few days prior, and I'll be damned if there's any way to squeeze such a thing into an MR-S. Nevertheless though, for driving pleasure, I'd have to say I'd take the Mister Two. Why?
Simple. I'd be too terrified to drive the GT-R daily. Yes, 0-60 in Negative 3 milliseconds is all well and good, but despite the 26 mpg, I can't possibly believe that sort of power earns good mileage. In today's economy then, that's a bit impractical. The cash flowing out of my pocket would be rather terrifying into and unto itself. Then, there's the sheer terror of that much power. Despite the ten thousand electronic systems designed to make sure you don't die in a spinning Koenigsegg-inspired ball of fire and expensive sheet metal, I have every confidence that somehow I'd find a way to do so in a car of that magnitude. You can put every safety system you want on an ICBM, and it's still a nuclear bomb at the end of the day; push the wrong button, and Hiroshima's toast.
Then again, the same can be said about Godzilla, and who wouldn't sell their left nut to ride Godzilla?
However, drive Mister Two (or a Miata, for that matter), and you won't have that scary power. You won't figure you're about to head off the road backwards at 180 mph, because the car simply can't do that. Neither will you win stoplight battles with the good old GT-R, but that's okay; when it's just you and road, you won't care. The GT-R is perfection in automotive form, yes, but for someone as simple and under-skilled as myself, it's merely a ticket to a fiery pinwheeling ball of death with a Nissan badge. The Spyder, on the other hand, is a simple, joyful expression of the old school sports-car mentality of simple is better. Just you, a mid-engined RWD convertible, a single clutch transmission, and the road. For someone as dull as me then, that's all I need.
It is then, with a bit of sadness, I can "only" award the GT-R six out of five 92507 Car-Stars, because sometimes perfection just isn't enough.
92507 Car Rating: 6 out of 5
Because it simply couldn't earn that 10 out of 5.
I had a ride-along in the Nissan GT-R.
No, I didn't get any time behind the wheel at all. No, it didn't go all out for top speed. Yes, it was weighed down by three passengers in addition to the driver. By God though, it was fast.
I'm not talking car-fast. I'm not even talking bullet-train fast. This was holy-shitballs-no-words-can-describe-this fast. 0-60, so far as I can figure it with four people in the car, was gone in four seconds or less. The brakes went from 60-0 in an equally amazing time; forgive me for not timing it, my head was busy trying to figure out how NOT to go through the front window. It was pulling 0.5 g's (according to the handy g-meter in the dash display) through a few twisties, and I didn't feel a thing. Pull 0.5 in my S14, and you're kicking the tail out already; the GT-R felt 100% planted and secure.
Upon leaving the car, myself and my fellow passengers had quite literally run out of words. We only agreed upon stepping out that our own personal cars would never be quite as satisfying again. There aren't words to describe the speed, the finesse, the engineering put into this car. It's simply one of those things you must experience yourself to understand; I can't describe it to you properly.
After all this praise then, you'd figure I'd go out and give it ten stars out of five, right? Wrong.
On one hand, yes, it's staggeringly fast. On the other though, I have to be honest, it's tied for the most sheer balls-to-the-wall entertainment I've had in a car with...
... a MR2 Spyder.
Oh, you laugh now. A few hundred horsepower gap, nearly $80,000 worth of price difference, these two cars aren't even in the same LEAGUE. Hell, the GT-R's even more practical (if you can call a supercar practical) in many ways; the owner informed me he'd carried a small Christmas tree about in the trunk a few days prior, and I'll be damned if there's any way to squeeze such a thing into an MR-S. Nevertheless though, for driving pleasure, I'd have to say I'd take the Mister Two. Why?
Simple. I'd be too terrified to drive the GT-R daily. Yes, 0-60 in Negative 3 milliseconds is all well and good, but despite the 26 mpg, I can't possibly believe that sort of power earns good mileage. In today's economy then, that's a bit impractical. The cash flowing out of my pocket would be rather terrifying into and unto itself. Then, there's the sheer terror of that much power. Despite the ten thousand electronic systems designed to make sure you don't die in a spinning Koenigsegg-inspired ball of fire and expensive sheet metal, I have every confidence that somehow I'd find a way to do so in a car of that magnitude. You can put every safety system you want on an ICBM, and it's still a nuclear bomb at the end of the day; push the wrong button, and Hiroshima's toast.
Then again, the same can be said about Godzilla, and who wouldn't sell their left nut to ride Godzilla?
However, drive Mister Two (or a Miata, for that matter), and you won't have that scary power. You won't figure you're about to head off the road backwards at 180 mph, because the car simply can't do that. Neither will you win stoplight battles with the good old GT-R, but that's okay; when it's just you and road, you won't care. The GT-R is perfection in automotive form, yes, but for someone as simple and under-skilled as myself, it's merely a ticket to a fiery pinwheeling ball of death with a Nissan badge. The Spyder, on the other hand, is a simple, joyful expression of the old school sports-car mentality of simple is better. Just you, a mid-engined RWD convertible, a single clutch transmission, and the road. For someone as dull as me then, that's all I need.
It is then, with a bit of sadness, I can "only" award the GT-R six out of five 92507 Car-Stars, because sometimes perfection just isn't enough.
92507 Car Rating: 6 out of 5
Because it simply couldn't earn that 10 out of 5.
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