Post# 4- Watches

So, as I sit in Sociology discussion- where my TA has admitted that "over 90% of the department are avowed Marxists-" I find that blogging is a more worthy way to waste my time than listen to socialist, anti-American propaganda. What better way to fight the scourge of silly socialism than to begin my series on silly expensive things that I like? Nothing like good ol' conspicuous consumption to show those pinkos... I'm only being half facetious here, to be honest.

Regardless of the Red sentiments I might draw the ire of for this post, I'm here in the middle of a terrible recession to celebrate watches. I don't mean Timexes. I mean the best of the best; the most attractive, handcrafted, Swiss-made, precision engineered monstrosities in existence. Audemars Piquet, Patek Phillipe, Vacheron Constantin...One of these could feed a family of four for a month.

We starve for the sake of your horological fetishes!

Yes, perhaps it's a bit silly in a recession of epic proportions to aspire to own what are perhaps the most ludicrous symbols of excess short of a Ferrari; after all, traditional logic dictates that a watch is merely an accessory to tell time, and if I may be brutally honest, has been rendered functionally obsolete by the cell phone.

So then, why are watches still so dang cool? Elvis Mitchell from Esquire said it best: "If you consider yourself stylish, as opposed to fashionable, your wardrobe does require a dress watch." The watch is an anachronism, a relic of a forgotten era. Then again, so is chivalry, and that's still very much in style, to some degree.

Chivalry: still in style 1500 years later! Minus the swords and incest and such.

However, if you are a man that does not wear jeans that resemble tights, have three inch long earrings, or dress like a complete clown/hipster/trend follower, a decent watch should be an inherent part of your wardrobe. This isn't a suggestion, it's a statement. Obsolete though it may be, a proper mechanical (none of this quartz silliness) should be a well maintained, well cared for part of every self-respecting man's wardrobe. Yes they're pricey, yes they're silly, and yes you can most likely buy a cheap car for the cost of one of the better mechanical watches out there. However, be it a product of commercialized culture or not, a watch is a sign of a well heeled man.

Not a well-heeled man, by any stretch of the word.

On that note, my current fascination is the Audemars Piquet Royal Oak, which my friends inform me is a silly watch at a silly price. I don't care. It is handmade by Swiss elves, is more complex than differential calculus, and looks more beautiful than Beyoncé. Here's to conspicuous consumption, friends.

Fascinating.

Let's have three cheers for capitalism.

Best,
E.Y.H.